Don't be dissing Oprah, Okayyy?

Internet Visitor
Broke down Oprah or whatever your name is, Oprah is not fat anymore so why do you say you're just as fat as Oprah?

Me
I'm sorry, my name is Carla and I beg to differ. She may look thin but she is definitely fat. It has taken her 20 years for her to lose that weight and she looks great now but I just know that if something were to happen..... For instance if she were stranded on a cruise ship that got stuck in the water and rescue was several days away, by the time they found her she would be about 50 pounds heavier.

When she has passed the three-year mark with no significant weight gain then I will start calling her skinny Oprah, but for now she's still fat Oprah. Oprah is fat on the inside and I am fat on the outside—we’re both fat.

Internet Visitor
But she has worked hard to get where she is. You sound like someone who doesn't work that hard, it is not her fault you are not a success.


Me
I'm not blaming her, this site is not about Oprah or about bashing Oprah, it’s about me. Oprah is my unwitting focal point, my muse, my inspiration. When I say I should be successful like Oprah I don't mean I should have matching chocolate cocker spaniels, own gigantic houses with dozens of rooms, host talk shows in Chicago, run cable networks and give away hundreds of cars.

That's not my path. I believe my path is to write humor and make people laugh or at least smile through fantasy, new age foolishness and idle ramblings. I'm actually more like Mark Twain, but I can't call My site Broke Down Mark Twain, so I went with someone who most people have heard of, someone who has had a sort of similar life to mine. Except somewhere along the line she came to a fork in the road and chose to go down the good road and went on to fame and fortune; while I choose the bad one and went on to poverty, depression, and obscurity.

Internet Visitor
Oprah is a real person and she only wears make up when she is on camera or special occasions. I think it is great she lets us see what she really looks like without her make up.

Me
But she looks like two different people. It's like some magical genie comes in and blinks her a new face. When she doesn't wear make up her posture is different, her demeanor is different--she just seems different. I'm the Broke Down version so my demeanor is always discouraging, my posture is always stooped, my joints always hurt and when I put on make up I look the same, just more clown like.

Internet Visitor
I love Oprah, she is such an inspiration to me I can't imagine the world or my life without her. I have read every book in her book club, I contribute to her Angel network and I have enjoyed her journey and struggle through life. When I put her name in the search engine I got this site. This is very disappointing.

Me
Look...over there...Oh My God it's Oprah

Internet Visitor
Where? Where? I don't see her, heyyyy…. I think you're a little crazy.

Me
Broke down Oprah is more catchy.