I'm gonna wash that Hilton Skank right out of my hair

Speaking of Corporate America, I saw a great documentary called, The Corporation, it totally lacks humor, and it is rather a somber little thing, but it is so interesting. I was especially struck by the concept of branding and the psychological conditioning Corporate America uses on us to get us to buy a bunch of useless crap. We are so brainwashed in to being super consumers that we aren't even aware of it; primarily because the conditioning itself causes our problems, then Corporate America just invent another product to take care of that new problem that they caused.

You might say that's the Free Enterprise system-- nothing wrong with that it-- beats living in some hut and wrestling crocodiles for a pail of poopy water. But just because something is good doesn't mean you have love it-- to death. Oxygen is good for you, but just because you have a lot of money and think somehow you deserve to have more oxygen than other people (especially other people who don't have a lot of money) doesn’t mean you should start pumping all the pure oxygen you can into your house-- hoarding it all—because you will probably blow yourself up.

Anyway I started a new assignment at work and my trainer was telling me about a Deli down the street that made these delicious huge sandwiches indicating with her hand about a 5 inch wall of meat and she was just going on and on and I was thinking, she's fat and I'm fat, is buying a sandwich with a mountain of meat a good thing for either of us? But that's us, we want our money's worth and we want as much as we can get. We can’t become millionaires but we buy a gigantic sandwich. I'm sure if my coworker thought about it, it would seem ridiculous to eat a sandwich the size of her head when her stomach is the size of her fist. Every time she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror she is probably disgusted and vows to do something about it-- but before those thoughts have a nanosecond to roll around her head, there's Corporate America to the rescue, selling her some pills that cost $153 because she's in dire straits, telling her its not her fault its Cortisol's fault. There's nothing in our bodies that doesn't belong there or is detrimental to our health in our natural healthy states, Coritsol has a vital purpose to our survival but Corporate America has convinced us it’s our enemy. “If it weren’t for that damned Cortisol, I hate Cortisol, let's start an anti Cortisol task force, Cortisol is so mean, especially to women, wah wah wah”… so Corporate America convinces us that it’s not that gigantic sandwich we’re eating or the fact that our 50 foot walk to our cars is our exercise for the day, no, its that damned Cortisol.

Then her doctor tells her to lower her Cholesterol to save her heart from all that abuse of carrying around all that fat, along comes ZOCOR, LIPITOR and all kinds of drugs ending in –OR to the rescue. I have never seen one commercial saying that cholesterol is a necessary substance in our body, because there’s no money in that, Cholesterol bad. It, like Cortisol, is some nasty substance lurking in our bodies waiting for the right moment to kill us. That’s why we need the –ORs to save us and our poor little defenseless hearts. Cholesterol and Cortosol, Thank God for inventing Corporate America, because He was sleeping on the job when He let those two enemies sneak into our bodies, besides God is very busy He can’t keep track of everything.

Which brings me to that Hilton girl.

She has millions of fans. Why? What has she ever done to entice anyone on this or any Parallel Universe
to pay any attention to her. The hardest thing she ever did in her entire life was push her way through her mother’s birth canal. I am assuming of course that Kathy did not have a Caesarian Section, because that would have meant she didn’t even have to work at being born. Of course if she did have a C Section, I can imagine her obstetrician pulling her out of her mother’s belly and accidentally poking his thumb in that soft spot on baby's heads; or if she were delivered vaginally squeezing thoses tongs just a little too hard--- that would explain a lot. Anyway regardless of all that she’s here and there's no going back to the good old no Paris Hilton days. This brings me back to my original point-- why is she so popular?

Well she’s' blonde. Oh, you’re not blonde, so so sorry. Take this box of "Make Me Blonde like Paris" hair dye and you can look like her and share some of the mystique.

Well she's skinny, You aren't skinny, hmmmm, join this Health Club that’s open 24 hours a day ( which is sort of ironic since you never go) and sign up for the Make Me Hot Like Paris training package, and oh and don’t forget these Make Me Skinny Like Paris pills. Only $153 and they will dispose of all that nasty Cortisol.

She's rich. And you aren’t-- too bad, you can sign up for a Reality Show and act really stupid and really crazy, which will make you a semi celebrity and eventually you will get rich. Wouldn't that be more satisfying than just popping out of someone's vagina? You could also consider changing your name to Marriott, Ramada or Sheraton and pretending you're an heir. Who's to say you weren't switched at birth?

You don't look like Paris, what a shame! There's this Plastic Surgeon to the Stars. You can order the Paris Hilton Special. Feeling better now? Good.

She's stupid and unengaging. Uh oh, Americans don’t like smart and interesting people like you, but we have the solution for you. Watch this Reality show called The Simple Life, you can learn how to be a simpleton, it says it right there in the title, plus you get to spend hour after hour looking at Paris, getting down her moves and her skills.

You think I'm exaggerating? Then take a look at the most extreme example, Michael Jackson. Its pretty bad when white people make fun of you for being an Uncle Tom. He would give what's left of his nose to look like Paris. He wrote songs that will be classics for years to come and have become part of the pop culture, but he doesn't care about that he just wants to be a white woman and if you are going to be a white woman they you may as well go for the gusto and be Paris.

Will we ever reach the end of this Disney Land Ride from Hell? Will we ever be blonde enough, rich enough, skinny enough, notorious enough, and dumb enough? Will we ever get enough of Paris Hilton? How far will Corporate American go before they turn us into Children of the Corn, dreaming about being on stupid Reality Shows, taking shopping Carts full of medications, getting Botox, skin whiteneners, teeth whiteners, face changing plastic surgery, gigantic houses, ginormous SUVs and Hummers.

Hey you Hummer Drivers, Corporate America forgot to tell you that we are going to run out of oil in about 5-10 years.

Running out of oil? She's crazy. Pssst…. here take this corn, (I mean, E85) and put half gas and half corn, (I mean E85) in your tank and you are good to go...….over to Taco Bell.... and when you start busting out of your clothes--------here take this pill, its new, its $300 and guaranteed to get rid of every molecule of Cortisol in your body......Paris is releasing a new album next week--- feeling better already, aren’t you..................