Let's send the GOP a copy of "My Name is Earl"

Karma is a bitch.

That's why I don't mess with her.

I'm no girl scout and sometimes I have a potty mouth, but I don't try to mess with people unless I have to.

Republicans got into power by nefarious means and then started wreaking death and destruction all over the world, threatening people, calling them evil, weak, appeasers, liberals. Then they have the nerve to think all of this will be ok with Ms. Karma. They probably don't believe in Karma. They believe in the almighty dollar, American know how, American might and power, and all other things American. Karma is hocus pocus, soft fuzzy thinking and unChristian.

There are thousands of people who are dead who would not be dead if Kerry had won. The Republicans know that, we know that and Ms. Karma knows that. Maybe the GOP think that's their purpose in life getting rid of terrorists (by terrorists I mean not Osama Bin Laden and his crew, but innocent people from poor countries, soldiers who are not part of the American Elite and those Black people in New Orleans). The Universe does not need any help in getting rid of people, even getting rid of poor people. Look at Indonesia.

So now everybody is jumping on the "I hate the Republicans" bandwagon. I won't be sorry to see them go but I am sorry that we didn't do more to stop them. We spent our time keeping tabs on Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan, buying and driving outlandishly huge and expensive SUVs, buying and remodeling each other houses and other activities of people who live in their own private Universe called America.

We can't hide from Karma. We can't hide in our SUVs, or our newly remodeled homes, our giant and impressive skyscrapers or anywhere else, our tanks, guns submarines and American Know how are useless against Karma.

To Karma we are like fleas on a dog, ok for a while but then the itching starts to get annoying. All she needs is a couple of good shakes, a few bites here and there and a good flea collar.

The GOP needs a to make up a list and start working on it right away. They are going to have some time on their hands, being out of office.

Religion Gets an Upgrade

I think religion needs to get an upgrade and try to find some common ground with science. After all the Bible was written thousands of years ago, a lot has happened since then. As my favorite comedian, Eddie Izzard, says the Bible doesn't mention dinosaurs. I think we need an addendum to the Bible mentioning the dinosaurs and other events and discoveries that have been made. I don't think God would mind, He knew about Dinosaurs, but I am sure when He was dictating the Bible he didn't want to scare his poor little superstitious humans, they were scared and scary enough.

This way we can still have sin and punish sin-- we just need to put it in a wider perspective so people will stop trying to sneak past the loopholes and sin and get away with it. Also we can still study science and being like modern humans which comes in handy sometime.

Abortion is a sin
Yes, Abortion is a sin, and so is drowning your baby in a toilet, putting it in a hefty bag or a wood chipper or doing anything that results in the death of said baby. So hiding your pregnancy and killing your baby and then pretending you are a virgin would not work under the new system.


Suicide is a sin
Yes, still is so is shooting your pilot or bus driver, causing the bus or plane to crash; or pointing a squirt gun at a policeman. You will go to hell in all instances except that if you will go to the really bad part of hell for taking innocent people with you.

Evolution does not exist, we did not come from Apes and Monkeys.
Evolution doesn't exist, there is a human like animal who is our ancestor scientists just have not found him yet, they stopped looking when they found some apes frozen in ice somewhere. We are not backward idiots scientists are just lazy.

The Earth is 5000 years old and the Universe was created in 7 days.
This is absolutely correct. What happened was when the Universe was created a day lasted 8 billion years and then the day started to slow down gradually to the 24 hours we have now. 8 billion years is a day to God, we are smaller with faster metabolisms so we experience a day faster. Do the math it all adds up.

You will go to hell if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your saviour before you die.
Just do it. I have already accepted JC as my personal Saviour, I have also accepted Allah as the one true God, and I say "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo" every now and then-- just in case. I don't know what hell is like but if it is worse than the Planet Earth it is not a place I want to go and if temporarily suspending belief can keep me out of there then I am all for it......

Broke Down Oprah's Plan To Withdraw From Iraq

Broke Down Oprah's Plan To Withdraw From Iraq

Well, the Media has decided they have had enough of Bush and his gang of Republicans. They are out for blood (not that the Republicans don't deserve it for all their hypocrisy, war mongering, dishonesty, bible thumping, flag waving, name calling, intimidating etc etc.) If you think we as Americans are controlled by anybody other than the Media-- think again. They wanted the war in Iraq so we got it. They wanted Howard Dean gone so they just showed that little scream a bazillion kajillion times until he looked like some kind of cartoon character and he was gone. They wanted Kerry gone so the Swift Boat crap was carted out every day, so now they want a break from the Republicans, so its bye bye Republicans.

This would be a good time for the Democrats to come up with a plan to withdraw from Iraq, but as usual they don't have much to say.

Well I do-- if The Democrats don't have the guts or wits to come down hard on the Republicans or can't come up with a withdrawal plan then Broke Down Oprah will unveil her plan.


BROKE DOWN OPRAH'S 5 STEP PLAN FOR THE WITHDRAWAL OF ALL AMERICAN TROOPS FROM THE SOVEREIGN NATION OF IRAQ

Step 1
Today is October 5, 2006-- so we get a bullhorn and drive through the streets of Iraq shouting "we (the Americans who came to liberate you) are leaving October 5, 2007 so you need to get your you know what together because when we're gone --we're gone. I know we bombed you back to the stone ages, consider yourself lucky that we didn't drop a couple of Atomic Bombs on your asses. So we let a few Islamic extremists slip into your country better Islamic extremist than Communists, better Islamic extremists than Saddam, better Islamic extremist than Buck Wild, Enraged, Lootin', Shootin', Baby Raping, Dope Fiend Negroes."

Step 2
We get serious about starting some mess with Iran so our troops will have something to do. Most of them lost their jobs because they have been gone so long, I think we have an obligation to keep them employed.

Step 3
Get all the leaders of Iraq together and tell them "You need to find a leader and quick. Saddam is not available as he is in prison and we don't care who it is as long as it is not a Communist or Osama Bin Laden. The American people don't give a rat's ass about Sunnis, Shiites, Kurds and whatever else you got lurking in this God forsaken place, you find a way to agree and go from there. You had better find someone by 10/5/07 because we will be outta here no matter what is going on. By the way make sure you keep that oil flowing to us, as next year we are coming up with the Humdinger a larger version of the Hummer and we are going to need lots more oil, that will keep us happy and away from you because if you stop the oil flow we will be back ready to open up another can of Whop Ass, Capisch"?

Step 4
Send Condoleezza Rice to the UN and have her make some speeches about how we brought or tried to bring democracy to the region blah blah, protected The American People etc etc, stabilized the region yada yada yada and declare a success to the whole conflict. Explain that we thought there were Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, it took us a while but we can safely say that there are not any now. No Saddam or communists either so it was a success blah blah...........

Step 5
On October 5, 2007, send some big ships and load up all the soldiers and ship them either home or to a staging area to attack Iran.

Gayle gets a job

Oprah has launched her new satellite radio enterprise. She finally got her friend Gayle a job, made a few bucks for herself too.

Of course I don't have a Gayle (or is it Gail?). But if I did she would have to get her own job by herself without any assistance from me; that's the only way we could really be the kind of friends she and Oprah claim to be. It is hard to be an Oprah-- she's one of a kind, but there are other things she can do besides sitting around sucking up Oprah crumbs.

She had a talk show for about five minutes and if Oprah didn't exist she may have made a niche for herself for a few years but she seemed kind of bland and by the book while Oprah is all chaotic, over the top dysfunctional, emotional, bipolar and just a mess; but in a good way, like when you eat a chili cheese burger with grilled onions and the works-- the food spills all over your clothes and on the floor but it is so good you just can't resist.

Gayle was more like eating tapioca pudding.

Now Oprah's fans get to listen to their little gossip sessions each night on Satellite radio.

Messy chili cheeseburgers and tapioca pudding mmm mmm mmm.

A Cautionary Tale

It's the season to rehash Hurricane Katrina. OK the season has passed but I had a computer virus and a knee injury.

I watched the recaps, I even watched Spike Lee's "When the Levees Broke, Requiem", all 4 hours, thank you very much. But I still had the sinking feeling that something was missing. I wasn't getting something. I could get on a Greyhound Bus from SeaTac Washington and make it down to New Orleans in about 2 days, so I did not get why those people were not helped, by nobody, smack dab in the middle of America. The shows I watched talked about the hurricane and the tragic aftermath but something was missing. Then I watched “After Katrina”, a program on the Discovery Science Channel. This show opened my eyes to the reason behind this fiasco.

What is the greatest fear facing White America? Al Qaeda? No. Terrorism? No. Anthrax? No. Global Warming? No. Economic ruination? No. Public Speaking? No.

I will tell you what that fear is but first let's get back to New Orleans.

When the levees broke and the city started flooding the people who I consider the heroes in this sad tale were in the Coast Guard. They worked tirelessly and saved countless lives. They didn't care that they were potentially risking life and limb to help these people they just did it. Unfortunately they took them to a place where there were people who were not willing to do their job and were possessed by fear. The Coast Guard saved the residents lives, there were supposed to be someone else there to take over the reins.

While all this was happening the Mayor was getting nervous and so was the Police Chief. They knew they had a large population of dangerous gang bangers and drug addicts and they were rightly concerned for the safety of the other residents of New Orleans and themselves. So in their wisdom they decided to exaggerate the situation hoping that the government headed by George W. Bush would come to the rescue.

That was a horrible miscalculation.

This show aired tapes of the Mayor saying there will be pandemonium on the streets and drug addicts will be committing all kinds of crimes when they needed to get their next fix.

Then there was the Police Chief telling the news about all the raping including babies and general lawlessness with gangs and guns.

They must have forgotten in all the hysteria that the number one fear of White America is a finding oneself amidst a large group of Buck Wild Lootin' Shootin' Baby Raping, Dope Fiend Negroes. No White person in America wants to have any part of that, especially Red Cross workers, FEMA workers, National Guard Soldiers, Evacuation Bus Drivers, Redneck Ignoramuses living in a quaint little place called Gretna and no one else for that matter.

When I saw that it all made sense. The rumors started somewhere, The Police Chief already nervous got wind of it told it to the Press, which for them is like winning the Lotto because Buck Wild Lootin' Shootin' Baby Raping, Dope Fiend Negroes makes really good press; and the traumatized victims of Katrina sort of went along with it because they also mistakenly believed that when America found out how horrible things were surely they would send some help pretty darn quick, even if they had to exaggerate a bit. They interviewed a white doctor trapped in the Convention center and he was appalled not at the baby rapin’ shootin’ dope fiends which he did not witness, he was appalled and he did witness thousands of people dying of dehydration, lack of medical care, heat stroke in the midst of horrible despair waiting for help that was not coming.

I even sort of believed those rumors a little, I was sure they were way over exaggerated. But I figured that whenever you have thousands of people forced together under some kind of catastrophe there is bound to be at least one pedophile who would use that opportunity to rape a baby. The looting I had no problem with, because I would have been there looting right along with them because going without water and food for five days in 100 degree heat is not how I roll. Gangs and guns is a given with a bunch of poor black people, right?

So FEMA, the Red Cross, Evacuation Bus Drivers and the National Guard were all there right outside of New Orleans but they were just afraid to go in there because of all those Buck Wild Enraged Lootin' Shootin' Baby Rapin' Dope Fiend Negroes. The National Guard made numerous aerial reconnaissance missions to scope out the area to make sure it was safe for their men. They drove around in trucks with their guns locked and loaded, bayonets affixed, wide eyed and stoned face ready for anything (bad) from those Buck Wild Enraged Lootin' Shootin' Baby Rapin' Dope Fiend Negroes.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, the Mexican Army and even the Cubans, along with others found in incomprehensible why those poor people were just left there right there smack dab in the middle of the richest country on the planet literally starving and dying of thirst. But they are not Americans they don't quite understand the complexities of skittish White America.

I hope Black America has learned a valuable lesson from this catastrophe. If something similar happens again keep the baby rapin' and lootin' shooting dope fiendin' on the QT. Instead we should just get together and start singing hymns, praying to Jesus and giving testimonials about how much we love White America and then maybe we might just get some help next time.