Broke Down Oprah is back

Hello (My One Reader)

I have been gone for a long time because I have been diagnosed with a serious illness and haven't felt like making fun of people.

But now I am back with a new blog, Renal Roulette, and a lot to say.

I guess I will start with the usual suspect, His Royal High Mightiness, the Honorable and Fabulous and Uber-intelligent George Wha?? Bush.

Why don't we just make him king of America, in fact I would be willing to make him king of America if he would stop talking. Every time he opens his mouth that little voice in my head starts screaming.....

"For the love of God please please I beg of you please make it stop"



Then I thought to myself--why is his voice so irritating to me? It took me a while to figure it out but I have presented my reasoning below.

Imagine you are a child-- a teenager who is really smart and into computers and pretty savvy as teenagers go.

You have a father who likes to ride around on his motorcycle and thinks he is hot. That's pretty bad but you say "whatever--that's his problem I have my own problems to deal with."

Then your father has an accident and damages his brain severely, because he is way too cool to wear a faggoty helmet. He eventually makes it after a long recovery.

He has recovered physically but there is something not quite right with him. Whenever he talks to you he scrunches up his face and talks to you as if you were a slow witted child from another country (Albania?), so he has to use small words, talk very slowly and try very hard to make himself understood. He doesn't realize that it is he who has the brain damage and you understand the simple minded things he is trying to explain perfectly. So you have to sit there night after night going through this routine listening to someone who was not too bright in the first place, who now has brain damage trying to explain simple things to you with that exasperated scrunched up face and idiotic explanations. That has got to be hard.

That's why I cannot listen to him. Now that the prophets of Doom has shortened my lifespan I really find it hard to listen to him. Suppose I am listening to him give his usual Bin Laden, 9/11, terrrrist speech and I drop dead. That would have been the last thing I would have experienced as a living human being on the planet earth. I cannot take that chance. I am not unpatriotic or a Bush hater ( well, actually I am) but I am trying to cherish and protect what could be my last moments on earth.